Before it's Too Late

With so many disturbing accounts of mass shootings in the news, I've been thinking about the little boy who lived next door to us when our children were young. I'll call him Wayne. Wayne would be nearly forty now, the same age as my son. I would not be surprised to see Wayne's name in the news attached to a mass shooting. This child was seriously disturbed. Even at an early age, the signs were there.

Wayne routinely set fires in the empty lot beside his house; he placed live frogs in buckets of bleach and watched them disintegrate; he threw his own parakeet against the wall and killed it; he would suddenly, without warning, explode with rage and lash out violently at anyone who happened to be in his path. One day, he emerged from his house, ran to our yard where my son was playing, and punched him in the mouth, dislodging a permanent tooth.  Another day, I watched in horror from my kitchen window as Wayne climbed to the top of our backyard play structure and, before I could stop him, hurled himself over the railing to the ground, breaking his own arm.

What factors turn an innocent child into a monster with no regard for human life? I learned that Wayne's father made him watch porn with him and that his mother (whose own behavior was erratic) was bipolar. She once confided in me that her husband abused her sexually. More than once, Wayne's school counselor arranged for him to receive intensive therapy at a residential facility, but each time, his mother pulled him out early because, selfishly, she "wanted him at home."

What is the profile of a mass murderer with seemingly no conscience or remorse?  Was Wayne destined to become one? How can we identify and help such children before it is too late?  Can they be helped or are they simply wired differently?

Peter Langman, a psychologist in Allentown, Pennsylvania, has studied the profiles of mass shooters. Following the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary, he was quoted in the Huffington Post as saying, "Our culture and media (violent movies and video games) reinforce that manhood is about attaining power. Violence is glorified as a way to get that power."

According to my research, there is a fairly standard profile when it comes to mass murderers. They feel rejected and isolated by their families or by society, in general. They are almost always white, male loners who lack both self-esteem and empathy for others. In most cases, they have been either abused by a parent, bullied by their peers or both. Interestingly, while mental illness may be a factor, most people who are mentally ill are not violent.

I sincerely hope Wayne received the necessary help to grow into a responsible citizen rather than the mass murderer he seemed destined to become. I hope he found healing from his demons of self-hatred and intense anger. Most of all, I hope he finally received the acceptance and friendship that we, his neighbors, couldn't risk because of concern for our own children's safety.