The truth is I don’t like to fail. I don’t think anyone does. Failure,
even a small botch, feels humiliating. When I mess up, my first instinct is to
berate myself. Self-flagellation is nothing new. It was a part of early
Christian history, especially in monasteries and convents. Even Martin Luther whipped
himself as a means of atoning for sin. I don’t whip myself when I find I have
disobeyed God or made a foolish mistake, but I fall into the unproductive habit
of self-blame. My instinct is to waste mental energy shaming myself; making
myself feel less-than; forgetting that I am a forgiven and renewed child of
God.
What if, instead of engaging in unproductive mental
self-flagellation, I turned immediately to God in prayer, confessed my
shortcoming, and asked for help in making things right? What if I trusted the
promise of Romans 8:38-39 that “…neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor
principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor
heights, nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us
from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus?” Perhaps Paul’s list of ‘nors’
should include nor embarrassment.
What if, instead of getting discouraged by
problems and embarrassed by mistakes, I remembered that God loves me no matter
what blunders I make and stands ready to show me how to solve problems? What if
I focused on my innumerable blessings, turning my attention from minuscule
earthly issues to the grand scheme of God’s purposes?
I’m not advocating ignoring issues and hoping they’ll
go away. Denial never solved a problem or made a situation better. Rather, I’m
trying to develop the habit (resolution, if you will) of facing life head-on
and dealing with embarrassing mistakes without falling into a blame-and-shame funk.
After all these years, I’m still working to develop
healthy responses to stress. Worry, self-doubt, and self-flagellation are not
healthy habits. If God has already conquered death, how can I allow myself to
be discouraged even for a moment by life’s inevitable challenges?
Another verse from Paul’s letter to the Romans reminds
me to put problems and perceived failures into perspective: “And we know that
God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those
who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).” In other words,
God has my back; God is in my corner; and every negative experience provides a
teachable moment with the potential for growing in wisdom and faith.
Cindy L. Freeman is the author of two award-winning
short stories and three published novels: Unrevealed, The
Dark Room and I Want to Go Home.
Website: www.cindylfreeman.com; Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/cindy.l.freeman.9. Her books are available through
amazon.com or hightidepublications.com
