Developing Habits

My publisher says I should develop the habit of writing every day.  "Write something," she says, "even if it's only a paragraph."  But there are so many things I'm supposed to do every day: eat vegetables, take vitamins, exercise, bathe and floss my teeth, to name a few.  I understand the importance of developing positive habits, and I've heard it takes six weeks of consistent repetition for an activity to become a habit. So, here I am, trying to write a blog every day, whether or not I feel inspired.

My father has been on my mind lately . . . not that I miss him, but it occurs to me he may have been inadvertently responsible for my need to write.

Dad was a man of low self-worth.  This characteristic manifested itself in criticism of others.  He was under the deluded impression that he could elevate himself by putting others down.  As a child, I was timid about expressing my opinions.  I was afraid of incurring Dad's harsh criticism.  So, I kept my thoughts to myself.  I watched silently as other family members were subjected to his vitriolic comments.  At an early age, I made the unconscious decision to remain outside the sphere of his anger and negativity.

After a lifetime of pretense and avoidance, I've found a means, through writing, of expressing my deepest longings.  So, I guess I should say, "Thanks, Dad.  You succeeded in influencing me, despite my best efforts."