The Curse

Since January, I’ve been trying to improve my attitude toward housework. It was one of my New Year’s resolutions. Instead of thinking of housework as a curse, I decided to refer to it as “housefun,” at least in my mind. After all, changing one's negative attitude is about mind control, and housework--I mean housefun--is good exercise, right?

To help with this attitude adjustment, I turn up the volume on my Google device, sing as I dust, and dance with the mop. I reach extra high and bend extra low, engaging all muscle groups. I convince myself that it’s good for heart health and weight control, and surely my Fitbit is registering lots of steps. Therefore it must be fun. Mind control, attitude adjustment. Bah humbug!  

Why is it I can walk three miles at a good clip and feel energized afterward, but thirty minutes of housework leaves me exhausted and dripping with sweat? Let’s break this down. “Housework” is a term that doesn’t adequately describe the process that must occur to get a house clean. “House torture” is more like it.

You see, housework involves de-cluttering, sorting, dusting, vacuuming, mopping, scrubbing, polishing, scouring, changing bed linens, shampooing rugs and upholstered furniture, washing windows….well, you get the picture. With all that bending, reaching, climbing, and scrubbing you would think my Fitbit watch would explode with the effort of awarding well-earned steps. But no! I can spend a whole Saturday cleaning to find I’ve racked up only 800 steps. My daily goal is 7,000 steps.  

The curse is that I like a clean house. I want my floors to shine, my countertops and sinks to sparkle, and my furniture dust-free. Hire a maid, you say? I’ll bet Barbara Taylor Bradford, Nora Roberts, Danielle Steele, and JK Rowling all have maids. But there’s a catch. My net worth as an author is far from $300 million like Bradford and even further from Rowling's $1 billion. If that were true, I’d have a live-in maid--make that two live-in maids--and a butler. How am I supposed to become a best-selling author when I’m busy doing housework? 

You’ve seen all those helpful hints and products that promise to make housework a breeze, right? Conspiracy theories! Fake news! I’m here to tell you the only way housework is easy-breezy or anywhere approaching fun is if someone else is doing it. When I’m scrubbing a toilet or mopping a floor, I’d rather be doing just about anything else: giving blood, having a tooth pulled, sitting on a thumb tack...you name it and I’m your gal. Mostly, I’d rather be writing. 

Please visit my author website: https://www.cindylfreeman.com/